I’ve taken the entire year off writing on my page, so this post will contain a few big words, a few open topics, and an invitation to collaborate. The ones going forward I will add comedy to, but this one not so much.
I’ve stewed about some things I’ve seen over the year. Noticed a slow shift in our society at an interpersonal level, maybe I just wasn’t paying attention before.
Here’s 3 things I want to see in the New Year to get us on track. I understand I’m nobody’s moral authority and will likely not hit home with many, I think it’s important to express yourself to resonate the change you wish to see in the world.
Please read and enjoy, share if you agree.
Create a Legacy, Not Temporarily Self-Validating Content
Not many people keep a photo album on their coffee table anymore, mainly because we all choose to narrate our lives instantly on the web. I do it, you do it, we do it. But have you ever been disappointed by the amount of ‘likes’ or interaction something in your life that you made internet worthy may get? I have made jokes that people didn’t give me a blue thumb for and then deleted them, and I’ve witnessed people post photos and then delete them because I guess it didn’t get the attention and validation that they wanted…..no, maybe wanted isn’t the right word.… NEEDED.
We need to realize that that need is totally made up. That disappointment is unnecessary and can become damning to your growth. When you get the validation you want, you’re happy. But that has got to be the most phony sense of happiness ever. Your self-worth is something that needs to be a driving force within yourself. When it becomes small part within yourself and a larger part based on the validation and attention from others, where do you ever grow? You grow based on your audience, because that’s where your reinforcement is coming from.
That creates this up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege upon yourself.
While you may be at a happy point of your reinforcement from strangers, it’ll fade. You will ride a high that is rooted in gloating, narcissism, and attention-seeking. But what goes up, must come down. It will be a tough ride down when your audience realizes that your life isn’t that interesting.
It’s not productive to show off what you have for validation, all that seems to be shooting for is the envy or jealousy of others.
It’s not productive to use your babies or kids as bait to fish for likes, once your kid’s likes start to fade, will you think less of them?
It’s not productive to feel the need to tell people you’re having a lazy day at home
It’s not productive to think people have a need or are deserving to see you when you are at your most normal.
It is productive to show the world what you love, who you love, what inspires you and the journey of your life through milestones. But in my opinion it should never serve as a NEED.
For when it serves as a need, you would find it cutting should a stranger say to your face, “I Don’t Care.” But in reality, why should they?
Do you for you and let your drive forward come from within rather than be self-sustained from the outside.
Ditch Small Talk. Embrace Conversation.
Talk to people in person more. Debate. Learn. Tell stories. Express your imagination, and Vocalize your dreams. Find challenge in the views of others and actively seek to be stimulated.
If your only learning points come from your digital social self, you will become one dimensional, predictable, and even restless. You must realize that your digital self is one that has been created by you, and therefore presents itself to you as an algorithm of things that are custom fitted to keep you in your comfort zone. Step outside of your comfort zone. Listen to what’s on other people’s minds more than just reading what the digital world decides should be on yours.
Find out a more in depth perspective of what is on your loved one’s mind. Hear them out and try and relate.
Share jokes, make jokes. Find out people’s feelings that make up the parts of them that inspire you.
Thoughts become things, I know that much is true. The beauty of life is that there is no end to thoughts, they can lift you up or destroy you. Thoughts do and will become a self-fulfilling prophecy the more you express them. Strive for hearing thoughts, enrich your life with the genuine feelings of others, the intimacy that comes with human expression and the strength that grows intellectually from back and forth human interaction.
Be For Your Beliefs, But Never Against Someone Else’s
This year has been a special doozy for the detachment of people based on their ideas. So many free people have never been more divided, never felt more attacked for feeling or believing a certain way.
Let’s take this year’s refugee crisis for example. Both sides of this argument have legitimate concerns. The right wants to stay safe and understands the possibility of people who hate them acting as a refugee and being a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I’ve seen so many people on the opposite side of those views label them a ‘Bigot’ or a ‘Racist’ just as a means to silence them.
The left wants to help the refugees in mass and doesn’t think that anything bad can happen. The people on the other side are quick to point out how sorry they’ll be and how their over-tolerance of intolerance will get them oppressed in the long run.
What we don’t see is a united people, who have their opinions without attacking others. Collaboration on issues is what solves them. Division on issues gives us fucking Donald Trump and others like him. People who capitalize leadership based on the exclusion of groups, and then grow that excluded group to in turn exclude those who originally excluded them.
Unification in this world on the grounds of humanity and collective evolution are the key to us surviving another year without slipping into chaos. Separation based on any isolating view will not get us to where we need to be to stay alive, and it certainly won’t let us achieve what we are all wishing towards others today: health, happiness, and prosperity to all. Once you separate our religious, nationalistic, and self-benefiting tendencies you will realize the earth is one single organism – and an organism at war with itself is doomed.
To close, I want to wish you all the best for the new year. May your lives grow, your families stay healthy and your relationships become more meaningful than ever. I hope you will make a resolution to wonder and learn more, worry less and feel strongest when you’re standing tall and certain.
God Bless you and your families, and may we all succeed and gain the courage to allow our thoughts to become the things we know live inside of us.
-Jegger
