Thailand, the Kingdom of Siam – it is the portal to heaven or to hell, whichever direction you’d like to go. A third world harmony in one of the most breathtaking lands the natural world has to offer. I’ve been home a little over a week now, and I’ve been trying to put into words what it’s like over there. Making comparisons so you can relate won’t do any justice because there is in fact, nothing in the world like it. The closest I came to an actual worded comparison was actually from the 80’s song “One Night in Bangkok” by Murray Head - with lines like:
“One night is Bangkok and the worlds your oyster – not much between despair and ecstasy”
“One night in Bangkok can make the hard man humble… can’t be too careful with your company”
“Siam, is gonna be the witness to the ultimate test of cerebral fitness”
Link to the music video here --> http://youtu.be/R9cNtrrCP0E
It’s not really a place where you explore the city and relax. It’s the kind of place where you’re on your toes always because anything is always seemingly on the verge of happening. The excitement of being in suspense is a feeling you learn to love. For example, crossing the streets is like playing a life or death game of Frogger – one lane at a time, try not to die, understand they don’t stop and that crosswalks are just for decoration.
The things you’ve probably heard about Thailand are all true, if they seem negative it is because you’re coming to judgment from a western, first world perspective. One thing the Thais all have among the commotion, is community. I wasn’t there long, but I came to understand some things about the Thais, and they are fascinating, respectable, wonderful people. Sure, there are places in Thailand where you can meet tourists that you share a common tongue with, and enjoy a beach in a resort type setting like Ko Phi Phi or Phuket. Pattaya isn’t really one of those cities (for an English speaker). It is a melting pot of the world. A city custom molded to become a Hedonistic Disneyland for Adults.
The fruit is some of the best tasting, freshest I’ve ever tasted (the pineapple in particular) and it’s under $1 for pretty generous helping. People on bikes are riding around with it, so it’s easy to grab some whenever you see it. Snacking is the way to go in Thailand, that’s even how the locals eat (snack, share, and repeat as needed). Filling your stomach with delicious, spicy, genuine Thai food is affordable and delicious and fits into a traditional 3 full meal per day schedule. However, when you mix that with blistering heat, exercise, and most likely some alcohol, it’s a recipe for disaster. For those oblivious readers, I'm talking about the shits.
Thai people look out for one another, especially in a condensed tourist city like Pattaya. They share what they have, and care for their fellow person when care is needed. They keep their friends in the lucrative loop as much as possible.
(For Example: at the beer bar I went to the most to try and chill out, I was not allowed to play music from my iPod on the speaker systems, even if I was the only one there. This is because there is a person selling CDs just down the road for a buck who is bound to be selling what I want to hear. So for about $2 and a short walk, I was able to get Luke Bryan and the Johnny Cash Greatest Hits albums and bring them back to this bar for my listening pleasure.)
In turn, everybody wins. Another fellow Thai makes a buck, a beer bar gets another CD for the rotation, and I get to hear the music I want to.
What I at first deemed ‘resourceful’ quickly turned to the realization that we in the west are just extremely wasteful. Blank paper slates, whether from the inside of a Johnny Walker box, or the unprinted side of a bill of sale, still serves a purpose and can be written on. Food isn’t thrown out because it doesn’t need to be. When a Thai is done eating and there is some food left, it’s never a far venture to find someone who is hungry. Then once the food is all gone, the bare scraps can be given to a feral cat (which are the reincarnation of a Buddhist Monk according to the Thais) or a stray dog.
Buddha is big there, and it’s hard not to respect the Buddhist mentality of inner peace, good karma, and simple harmony without attachment to material possessions. You learn a lot from people who have next to nothing as far as possessions go, but are clearly happier than you’ve ever imagined yourself being. Some of the Buddhist shrines and sanctuaries they have there will take your breath away. You can sense the ancientness to them and really cuts you down to size. These shrines are all built to honour ideas not gods– like the Sanctuary of Truth; a massive wooden building to symbolize the triumph and ongoing battle of wisdom over ignorance. The ‘Big Buddha’ on the top of the mountain overlooking the city of Pattaya has many statues symbolizing good luck and gratitude for everything. I put a Canadian nickel in fat Buddha’s hand; let’s see how it pans out.
Just as here, women find a man with money attractive and desirable. When you’re ugly and poor, you’re ugly. When you’re rich and ugly, you’re rich.
The average annual salary for a Thai in the workforce is about $3,700. That’s all year.
A western woman’s idea of a man with money varies greatly from a Thai woman’s idea of a man with money. To Thais, if you’re White, Japanese, or Arab; you’re a man with money. If a foreign man spent the average Canadian salary just for a plane ticket to visit Canada, I’m sure Canadian women would latch on to him pretty quickly too.
That leads to what we in the west refer to as “prostitution”. In Thailand, this term becomes very broad.
There is a large chunk of straight-up hookers looking to turn quick tricks for quick money. That’s where the exploitation lies; unfortunately that is the evident underbelly of the country. You see people in a sense of sex slavery. It is the sad state of affairs that has laid a scourge on most of the countries of the world in some form, but more so in Thailand and Southeast Asia. Really the only way to end human trafficking is to not support it – but the unfortunate truth is, people have been supporting it since the beginning of civilization and probably will until the end of it.
The majority of women that you can meet and that want to meet you aren’t hookers though. They work at bars, restaurants, massage parlours, or at the beach. They don’t solicit themselves for sex, but rather want you to buy drinks for them and show them a good time. It’s the same process as how most people tend to meet here (expect a lot easier there). You get a sort of girlfriend experience, someone who latches onto you and gives you unwavering affection – if you’re good to them, they’ll be good to you. If you’re an asshole to them, they’ll leave or make sure you fall down every financial pit that Thailand offers (sounds like marriage). If you’re led astray in Thailand, you’ll be chewed up and spit out faster than you can comprehend.
You see tons of it -- middle-aged men with beautiful Thai women, both on cloud nine. It’s like these guys are reliving the glory days when having a muscle car used to get them the kind of attention from women as they’re getting now from these ladies. From first glance, you assume half of these men’s libido is next to nothing without a little blue pill, it seems it’s the attention and affection that they’re in it for. These women aren’t ‘dirty’; they’ll be loyal to you as long as you’re loyal to them. Just like the lot of us, and they’re looking for love. After all, they could be the love of your life and you could be theirs. As well, it’s obvious that falling in love with a westerner elevates their social status to the upper class. They aren’t gold diggers though, you being there just ‘impresses’ them. I don’t want to go too deep into this side of Thailand, because I really don’t know anything on it, it’s just my observation and people say enough about it as is – I know any guy that falls in love with a Thai woman is a lucky man, because they are gorgeous and loyal. If this sort of method of meeting someone is considered prostitution, then we’re all whores in some way.
You can’t attempt to explain Thailand without at least a small mention of the infamous Ladyboys. Sexuality in all forms is wide open, very accepted, and doesn’t affect how people live their lives. Transgendered are considered the third sex, and the Asian stature mixed with some plastic surgery actually makes these ‘girls’ quite attractive. This is another huge boost in the sex-industry of Thailand. Men with homosexual tendencies who’ve lived in the closets for their entire lives due to the stigma instilled upon them in their home country can travel here and fulfill their desires that they’ve kept subdued for so long. There is a stigma in rural Thailand on homosexuality as well, so big cities become safe havens in which social acceptance and normalcy can be achieved and therefore, are hubs for the LGBT community.
Two things most Thais appear to know at least a bit of: massage and Muay Thai kickboxing. You can get a massage around every corner. Foot rubs, back rubs, full body rubdowns, Thai massage where they bend and contort you, and last but not least, the rub and tug is also right in the mix. Open aired boxing ring bars are all over the place. These guys ruthlessly kick the shit out of each other solely for your entertainment. The winner gets paid by tips he comes around and asks for after he finishes beating the piss out of his opponent. Loser gets a black eye and a glass of water. It’s Cockfighting, but with people.
To close, Thailand is an unreal place. I highly recommend it. Just don’t go there expecting to find any familiarity or else you’ll hate it. Go there and let the culture shock take control of you, before you realize it you’ll be embracing it. The people are as good to you as you are to them. Make true friends with a local and they’ll look out for you like one of their own. Be pretentious and pompous towards them and you’ll find yourself lost in purgatory with your wallet being the only thing to save you. Prepare to be amazed by the landscape, the nightlife, the food, the culture, and the heat.
Sorry for the long write-up, I still probably didn’t do the place justice.
Hope you enjoyed!
-Jegger
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